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Jun 2009 →

Typical cliche' profile template for you lil' emo fucks.
22:14 Feb 26 2009
Times Read: 751

So after perusing VR a bit this morning I've come to the conclusion that... people are fucking retarded.

Oh... and that 90% of profiles are identical.

I mean, really... Must I remark on the paradox of being on a social networking site that attracts those with the affinity to be different, and yet... everyone's the same. hah...

Anywho! Seeing as this is the case I thought I'd make it easier for ya's! that and have a subtle crack at just how fucking typical and stupid you people are.

Let's begin!

Name: Be sure to set something with alot of X's in it.

This will show how dark and awfully mysterious you are.

Let's look at an example; XxXdarkXxX

Ooooo... Do you see that?! Amazing, no?!

Location: This is very important! You do not EVER set your actual location.

You should always set it to either; Under your bed, hell, in your closet, in your nightmares.

This shows you are creative and clever... when in fact you're a brain-dead sack of walking flesh who should have been beaten and discarded at birth...

Quote: Be sure to add something from the horrible fuck-up of a movie "Twilight"

This will show you're intelligent once again. And because to you fucktards the movie seems like a profound fucking prophet.

Now for the core of the profile.

Body: Always begin with a sentence stating your name and immediately after state that you're bi-sexual.

This will imply open mindedness and will show people you're unique. Tho most of you would never follow through with it and when you eventually grow up you'll probably wonder what the fuck you were doing.

Be sure to add a list of your favorite bands. This is key as your music taste defines who you are. (apparently)

The bands you should like are such things as MCR, AFI, Fallout Boy, Paramore and other no-talent cum-quaffers.

Showing you like these bands indicates you're a deep and meaningful soul. You have intelligence because you listen to dark rock music.

I mean... Society as litterly fed you this bullshit that this music is infact that of which "dark and intelligent people" listen to. So I guess you'd listen to me then.

It's clear that you little fuck-bags can't think for your selves.

Now. We must list your favorite movies! Be sure to add such titles as; Twilight, Queen of the Damned and just... anything else with a dark theme.

Even tho you watch these things and think "Yes... This is dark. This movie defines me as a person if I like it. That and all the other millions of unique people like it as well"

Oh... Yet you look past such key features as directing, cinematography, acting, story, plot, depth!

Almost done, kids. I know you want to go and put this all together so you can have people come by your profile and be like "Whoa! You're so unique!" or "OMG! i luv twilhtg to!!11oneoen! we shud b frends"

This section is where you will add a blurb about your pleasant disposition towards love.

Yes. Be sure to say something profound and paradoxical towards the human emotion that is love.

This will show you're sensitive and yet intelligent.

It will also show you've been hurt by this oh so terrible emotion, which will inadvertently get you attention! yay!

And last but not least.

Add about a good 3 pages worth of quizes.

Answer these in such witty and intelligent ways that only YOU as a dark, morbid soul can truely do.

Goodluck with your new personality.

Now fuck off and die you uncultured little cunts...

COMMENTS

KamarillaKaine
22:23 Feb 26 2009

THANK YOU NEMMY !!!!

this came JUST in time for my major profile overhaul :)

*falls offa the couch laffin*

MBK
22:33 Feb 26 2009

I love it. That is sooooo how most of these retards's profiels are.

MBK
22:33 Feb 26 2009

Profiles even. Epic fail

atyourwindow
22:48 Feb 26 2009

how can you mispell profile like that while trying to be condecending? lmao!

chrysanthemia
22:54 Feb 26 2009

So I'm not the only one that's noticed!

You forgot a very key element. The insatiable need to defend most statements. "I'm bi. Don't like it? Piss off. I smoke. Don't like it? Piss off."

And don't forget the threats! "If u screw wit my friends/boyfriend, I will FUCK you UP!"

And about 36 protection stamps.

Nemmy
23:08 Feb 26 2009

Damn you, AYW!

I didn't even notice. Bwahaha!

And to that last comment! Very VERY true! That totally slipped my mind!

XxLDRxX
23:50 Feb 26 2009

Just 90% Nemmy aww come on now you know it's more like 97.99 % Oh wait I am one of the one's ypou mock for the XxwhateverxX. Well I am an idiot anyways.

velvetwhisper
00:38 Feb 27 2009

I am in total agreement!

AlicefuckingJane
11:26 Feb 27 2009

Oh... dear... fuck cutie!

This is epicly brilliant!!

You ish pure fucking genius!!!!

Your brain be radical.

I.. I think I love you.

DreamlessNight
17:28 Mar 02 2009

So fucking true Nemmy.

ScarletAmore
23:39 May 21 2009

I'm glad you drew up this little template b/c without it so many people would be lost....lol!!!

DarkFeline
08:35 May 31 2009

I love your angry rants!

AzriellaRipley
12:34 Jun 10 2009

Wow, thanx I feel a lil better bout my pro now! Atleast I think I avoided all the tarded stuff u listed. But maybe I do use OMG and LOL too much, would use OMMJK if anyone knew what the heck it ment, lols

FathersGrace
03:59 Jun 20 2009

hahah

this is quite a knee slapper

Linx
02:26 Aug 08 2009

That was fucking geniuos my friend. You should send that to every member of this website they would either laugh their asses off as I did or go crawl into a fedal position and slowly starve never being capable off basic motor functions again because you just described them to a T!

Nemmy is having nerdgasm's!
06:43 Feb 19 2009
Times Read: 792

Okay. So it's time once again for Nemmy to spew out more pointless bullshit from his noise-tube!

There is no real point to this entry other then the fact I needed to get this down somewhere as I'm uncontrollably squealing like a 15yr old school girl who just got fuc... straight A's.... *shifty eyes*

Anyway.

26th of February I have the long awaited release of Killzone 2 on PS3! Fucking yay!

A very awesome sexy game of greatness!

Then... I have the release of Watchmen on the 5th of March!

Nothing says I love you like big naked blue celestial dudes! Thanks, Zack Snyder!

It's going to be epic! and nerdy! and epicly nerdy! Can't wait! :D

And the big one! the ultimate of all my nerd dreams!

4th and 5th of April I will be heading up to Brisbane again where I will be meeting and no doubt drooling over the one and only; Johnnen Vasquez! the genius behind JTHM, Squee, I Feel Sick and Invader Zim. Plus a shit-ton more... But that requires more typing.

Also... I'll be meeting the god that is Todd McFarlane.

Genius comic book artist who did Spawn and a fair big of Spiderman! *swoons*

And as I was checking on the line-up again for who will be there to see if there was any updates. There was...

Clair Bennett from Heroes will also be there!

And holy fuck! I just noticed something else which only JUST came to my attention!

Morena Baccarin will also be there! (aka Inara) from Joss Whedons fucking godly series Firefly and the brilliant movie Serenity!

Breath Nemmy... Breath... *dies*